Interlude XVI: The Sacred Disturbance of Tortuga

Session Overview

This flashback session revealed Bru's life before the main campaign, when he was a young goblin (around 8-10 years old) living on the Island of Tortuga. The party played members of Bru's extended family—the Bru's Cousins bowling league—tasked by their godfather Taskmaster Grit with creating a "sacred disturbance" to awaken the Turtle God upon which their island rested. The session combined family comedy, goblin chaos, and explosive finales, ultimately revealing how the island rose from the sea and why Bru had to leave his homeland. (Zack was absent; Ellis joined partway through.)

The Bru Family & Bowling League

The Sacred Mission

Taskmaster Grit, godfather of the Bru's Cousins bowling league, gathered the family for an urgent mission during the Winter King's holiday (winter solstice). The goblin religion required a sacred disturbance—a massive chaos event to shake the very foundation of their island and awaken the Turtle God. Multiple bowling leagues competed to create the biggest disturbance, with eternal consequences for failure.

The Stakes:

• Awaken the Turtle God through chaos
• Win prestige for the Bru's Cousins bowling league
• Avoid eternal damnation for insufficient disturbance
• Maintain bowling lane reservations for their nightlight session

The Family Members

Young Bru (Justin) - In his teenage angst phase, aspiring explosives expert with dreams of creating the perfect firework. The only one of the group who can read, and considered the natural leader due to his attention to detail.

Dru (Luke) - Bru's younger brother, high-energy goblin heavily addicted to cocaine (kept separate stashes for every occasion: walking cocaine, bathroom cocaine, dinner cocaine). Spoke rapidly, constantly bouncing, and prone to diving into piles of "snow" (mostly cocaine).

Uncle Belch (Taylor) - Bru's uncle, named (goblin-style) for the first sound he made, a belch. A retired 7-Eleven employee of the month, 9th level soulblade rogue with reliable talent, and conspiracy theorist. Believed the Winter King was a front for the "mind flayer mafia" and taught Bru various paranoid theories.

EA (Ali) - Older cousin (spelled the Irish way, with all the vowels), owner of a fireworks shop specializing in pranks and offensive shapes. Taught Bru his technical firework skills, despite being unable to read. Highly critical but ultimately helpful mentor figure.

Auntie Poopy (Ellis) - Named for the first thing she did when she was born. Joined mid-session, brought her own unique energy to the family chaos, and a passion for true crime.

Godfather Grit - Taskmaster of the bowling league, perpetually vibrating with energy and stress, covered in chalk dust, speaks in urgent non-sequiturs. Has a score of 7 in bowling (terrible) because he was "trying to hit one pin every time."

Goblin Culture on Tortuga

Physical Traits:

• Goblins mature by age 10
• Die frequently from heart attacks (hereditary epidemic)
• Have litters of children (large families)
• Named after the first sound they make
• Age fast: Uncle Belch retired from the 7-Eleven at 14

Social Structure:

• Bowling leagues function as sacred covenants
• Everyone related by blood or bowling
• Cocaine use is normalized (micro-dosing throughout the day)
• 7-Eleven bathrooms are acceptable laboratory spaces

Religious Beliefs:

• The island rests on the back of a Turtle God
• Sacred disturbances are religious obligations
• The Winter King visits during winter solstice
• Wishes granted to best Winter King costume
• Dead sheep imagery is considered blasphemous

The Winter King's Holiday

Festival Atmosphere

The goblin city of Tortuga celebrated the winter solstice with chaotic festivities:

Celebrations:

• Everyone dressed as the Winter King (costume competition)
• "Snow" covering the city (various white substances—cocaine, chalk, other materials)
• Children having snowball fights (mud, rocks, and debris compacted together)
• Nightclubs with heavy EDM and glow stick usage
• Drug-fueled revelry throughout the city

Winter King Tradition:

• Best costume wins the right to make a wish
• Legend of a robot who wished for a stomach and received it
• Father Winter visits on this holy night

The Snow:

• Not actual snow (tropical region, too warm)
• Each establishment creates their own "snow" through goblin ingenuity
• Nightclubs use cocaine as snow effects
• Children play in various questionable white substances
• Dru acquired a full bag of nightclub cocaine for "personal use"

The Oracle's Quest

Mistress Tatterbottom

The family's mission required finding Mistress Tatterbottom, an oracle traveling through the city in her caravan during the festival. She supposedly knew where to create the sacred disturbance.

The Caravan:

• Traveling slowly through festival crowds, along the parade route beside the bowling alley
• Dru distracted the guard by racing circles around the caravan
• Uncle Belch trailed it (stealth 23 on a roll of 2) and misty-stepped through the window
• The blind oracle found his cocaine "a bit light," but accepted it along with one of EA's middle-finger bottle rockets
• Her prophecy: "Go to the last place that you achieved employee of the month. In the basement, you will find a secret entrance, and that will lead you directly to the beast's heart. And then you'll root through their heart to their ear canal."
• Belch's last employee-of-the-month honor: the 7-Eleven

The 7-Eleven Bathroom Laboratory

The oracle's directions led to an unexpected location: the bathroom of a 7-Eleven convenience store, the biggest, brightest building in town, run by a Pakistani clerk named Bug.

The 7-Eleven:

• Fridges, fluorescent lights, automatic doors, and the town's only Slurpee Brown machine
• Stevie, a sentient hot dog on the roller who remembered Belch—until Bru took a bite out of him
• EA ran up a tab for snacks (ham sandwiches, warm half-price boiled eggs, "Boritos")

The Bathroom:

• Like every 7-Eleven bathroom, it came with a chemistry and alchemy set (and a baby changing table)
• A slide puzzle combination lock (1-2-3-4-pound, solved by EA with a 23)
• Equipped for firework construction
• A sewer grate and ladder leading down to a nightclub—the oracle's secret entrance

Notable Features:

• Only one bathroom (creating a multi-hour occupancy problem)
• Vanessa, Bru's cousin, desperately needed to use it
• Hidden entrance to the sewer system
• Direct access to the Nerve Hub nightclub

The Vanessa Tragedy

Meet Vanessa

A recurring NPC who became the session's tragic figure:

Characteristics:

• Bru's cousin (not on the bowling team), just two weeks old
• Needed bathroom urgently—though she didn't know the bathroom code
• Stays hydrated (EA claimed she drinks toilet water)
• Generally considered annoying by the family
• Kept insisting she needed to use the bathroom

The Death Toll

The Heart Attack:

• Collapsed of cardiac arrest reaching for a Mountain Dew while the family occupied the bathroom for hours working on fireworks
• EA had been verbally abusive to her through the door
• Bug the clerk attempted CPR
• Blamed on hereditary heart attack epidemic (not family's fault)

The Wraiths:

• Returned as five wraiths in Vanessa's visage, vowing revenge; insulting her only split another off
• Belch (backwards chair, persuasion 23), EA's apology, Auntie Poopy (persuasion 18) and Bru (persuasion 19) talked several of them down
• One died again of cardiac arrest trying to keep up with Dru's jumping jacks
• The last one lit the final firework

The Thousand Wraiths:

• Unimpressed by the firework ("This isn't offensive at all"), and told it meant their branch of the family was the best, she split into a thousand wraiths
• Killed everyone in the goblin city
• The family had spiritually reconciled with her "purely out of spite"

Family Reaction:

• "Vanessa sucks" (general consensus)
• Dru: "She really really sucks, can't stay alive"
• EA: "I'm so glad she's dead"
• Taskmaster Grit: "Why'd you have to kill Vanessa?"
• A memorial was floated afterward, but it "feels like a lot of work"

The Nerve Hub & Heart of Tortuga

Underground Nightclub

The sewer ladder from the 7-Eleven bathroom led directly to the Nerve Hub, a major nightclub built near the literal beating heart of Tortuga.

The Venue:

• Heavy EDM music
• Glow sticks everywhere
• Massive drug usage (cocaine, hallucinogens)
• Winter solstice party in full swing
• DJs rhythm their music to the heartbeat of Tortuga
• Dealers dressed as elves sell cocaine (Dru bought a pound for brass tacks, a brass candlestick and two doorknobs)

The Heart of Tortuga:

• Physical, beating heart beneath the island
• Creates rhythmic thumping: "boop boop boop"
• Shakes the nightclub with each beat
• Next to it, a candlelit hallway labeled "to the ear"—the ear canal leading to the eardrum, the real target of the sacred disturbance

The Bathroom Workshop

The 7-Eleven bathroom became the staging ground for the sacred disturbance:

Equipment & Materials:

• Firework construction supplies
• Multiple types of cocaine (bomb cocaine is not the same as customer cocaine)
• Various explosive components
• The rest of the family practicing for their garage band in the background

The Firework Design:

Bru attempted to design a firework with a "B" symbol (for Bru), but EA took over:

Original Design (Bru):

• A diamond with a "B" in the middle, as a calling card
• Arcana check with disadvantage (everyone was watching): 17
• The diamond came out "weirdly hard," possibly a circle

Final Design (EA's Improvements):

• Bru family crest inside diamond
• Mug of brown liquid (signature drink)
• Tail of a pig
• 7-Eleven sign
• Small fireworks going off (meta reference)
• Sparkles and shards for visual impact
• Maximum razzle-dazzle and pizzazz

Bru's Reaction:

• "Oh my god, you never let me try anything!"
• "You never let me get better!"
• Stormed out of bathroom in teenage angst
• Witnessed Vanessa's first death
• Blamed by Pakistani clerk for the death

The Sacred Disturbance

The Plan

The family needed to make a big boom next to the Turtle God's eardrum:

The Ear Canal:

• The canal was blocked by a wall of god earwax
• Bru's rudimentary "burninator" and EA's heat metal on Auntie Poopy's battle axe melted through it; Bru saved a jar of the god wax
• Taskmaster Grit (being chased by a goblin whose pants he had stolen) got caught in the flowing wax; both became wax statues, and when Auntie Poopy peeled Grit's face free it was glowing with revitalization
• At the eardrum, the family balked at hurting the turtle—so Grit threw a stick of dynamite himself
• Belch, EA and Auntie Poopy caught it together and it exploded in their hands; a wave of wax shielded them as they were thrown back down the canal

The Awakening:

• The sound reverberated through the ear, and the Turtle God began to wake with an earth-shaking growl
• Bru remembered the "Bru protocol": his explosives lab would crash into the city unless it was unlatched
• The family took a zeppelin across the city to the lab, where Vanessa's wraiths ambushed them
• Bru fought a slide puzzle on the lab's computer while the rest sat backwards in chairs—hats, shirts and pants backwards—to talk the wraiths down
• Dru led cocaine-fueled jumping jacks; Vanessa (ghost form) lit the final firework

The Catastrophic Success

The sacred disturbance exceeded all expectations:

The Explosion:

• Massive firework display showing Bru family crest
• Earth cracked beneath the city
• Bru's laboratory broke free from the city and fell, with Bru inside
• Island of Tortuga rose from the sea

The Walk Away:

• Turtle God awakened by the disturbance
• Island lifted on the back of the awakened turtle
• Entire goblin city began walking away on turtle's back

The Aftermath

Immediate Consequences:

• Bru deployed his parachute (the family had grabbed them on the zeppelin)
• Escaped falling laboratory as it crashed
• Watched his home city walk away on the turtle
• Separated from his entire family
• Forced to leave Tortuga

Long-term Impact:

• Island of Tortuga rose from the sea (recent event in campaign timeline)
• Connected to recent rift openings and dragon migrations
• Bru left his homeland forever
• Additional trauma for young Bru (witnessed Vanessa deaths, lost family)
• Explains Bru's age discrepancy (now established as 11-14 years old)

Character Moments

Young Bru's Development

The session established key aspects of Bru's character:

Skills & Interests:

• Early experimentation with explosives
• Learning technical skills from EA
• Attention to detail (why family considers him the leader)
• Angsty teenage attitude, and a signed skateboard
• Knowledge of technical facts (glass tubes in glow sticks)

Trauma Origins:

• Witnessed multiple deaths (Vanessa's cardiac arrests)
• Blamed for deaths he didn't cause
• Lost his entire family when island rose
• Forced to leave homeland at young age
• Previous trauma mentioned: saw a sheep hit by a truck

Family Relationships:

• Close with Uncle Belch (learned conspiracy theories)
• Mentored by EA (learned fireworks)
• Typical sibling dynamic with his younger brother Dru
• Respected as natural leader despite his youth
• Connected to large extended family

Dru's Cocaine Journey

Luke played Dru as perpetually high with escalating energy:

Cocaine Management:

• Separate stashes for every occasion and location
• "Walking cocaine," "bathroom cocaine," "dinner cocaine"
• Micro-dosing throughout the day
• Eventually just snorting anything white (including shredded paper)
• Taskmaster Grit noted he needed "help identifying proper high-quality cocaine"

Physical Comedy:

• Constantly bouncing and moving
• Dove into piles of "snow" (cocaine) to swim
• Led family in jumping jacks (killed ghost Vanessa)
• "His heart rate is in the few hundreds at least"
• Predicted to crash or die from the come-down

Epilogue:

• Got completely clean and sober
• Became youth guidance counselor
• Uses backwards-chair sitting technique to connect with troubled youth
• Runs recovery group meetings
• Starts each session by spinning chair backwards and putting hat on backwards

Uncle Belch's Conspiracy Theories

Taylor played Belch as the paranoid uncle teaching Bru worldview:

Theories:

• Winter King is a front for the mind flayer mafia
• Water genasi (in skimpy clothes) is part of the conspiracy
• Vampires talk inside your head—always ask "Who is this?"
• Reading is a conspiracy by wizards
• Always keep your food with you: brown is the only safe food
• Taught Bru his conspiratorial thinking

Skills:

• 9th level soulblade rogue with reliable talent
• Stealth minimum of 23 (rolled a 2, still got 23)
• Capable investigator and infiltrator
• Protective of younger family members

Epilogue:

• Possibly still alive (goblins age quickly, but he might be elderly)
• If alive, became proprietor of bowling alley
• Still bowls constantly
• "Don't get distracted by any of these stupid scavenger hunts ever again"

EA's Mentorship

Ali played EA as the harsh but effective teacher:

Teaching Style:

• Highly critical of Bru's work
• "You never let me try anything!" (Bru's response)
• Intimidation check: 19 (Bru stormed out)
• Arcana check: 21 (completely redesigned firework)
• Actually improved the final product significantly

Fireworks Business:

• Owned shop specializing in offensive shapes
• "Cool shapes that they make in the sky like middle fingers"
• Pranks and provocative imagery
• Technical expertise with explosives
• Passed knowledge to young Bru

Auntie Poopy's Late Arrival

Ellis joined as Auntie Poopy in the nightclub and immediately asked why they were blowing up a turtle:

• Worried throughout about hurting the Turtle God
• Carved through the god wax with her heated battle axe and freed Grit's face
• Offered to investigate Vanessa's death: "cults are my specialty, but serial killers and murders I love"

Epilogue:

• Opened a spa with the god ear wax
• "Rejuvenating all of the goblins"
• Life extension treatments through "deep moisturizer"
• Created wellness craze among goblins
• Alleviating the heart attack epidemic

Ongoing Plot Threads

1. Bru's Return: Can Bru reunite with his family now that he has access to the island (if any survived)?

2. The God Ear Wax: In a flash-forward, Bru finds the jar of god ear wax in the Bugatti—connection to Auntie Poopy's spa business?

3. Vanessa's Wraith: Christopher noted to remind him "Vanessa might come back as a wraith to haunt them"—will this haunt Bru?

4. Tortuga's Current State: The island rose recently (aligns with rifts, dragon migrations in campaign)—what's happening there now?

5. Family Reunion Possibility: "Bru family reunion—oops, all bruises" discussed as future possibility

6. Dru's Recovery: Successfully got clean—could appear as NPC helping others?

7. Uncle Belch's Bowling Alley: If survived, might own the bowling alley now

8. The Sacred Disturbance Success: Did other bowling leagues also succeed? What happened to competitors?

9. Bug's Ban: "You and your family and your bowling team are never going to be in here again"—permanent ban enforced?

10. The 712 Alternative: Bug's brother Doug runs the 712 (closer to EA's house, and better than the 710)—new family hangout?

Key Revelations

1. Bru's Age: Confirmed as 11-14 years old (adjusted from original 10 to account for backstory timeline)

2. Island Rising: The rise of Tortuga on the Turtle God's back was directly caused by Bru's family's sacred disturbance

3. Recent Event: This backstory occurred within the past few years, not ancient history—connects to current campaign events (rifts opening, dragons migrating)

4. Family Separation: Bru lost his entire extended family when the island rose, explaining his isolation

5. Explosives Origin: Bru's expertise with explosives dates back to childhood, taught by EA

6. Goblin Culture: Extensive worldbuilding about goblin society, religion, and customs on Tortuga

7. Heart Attack Epidemic: Hereditary condition killing goblins daily, not anyone's specific fault

8. Bowling as Religion: Bowling leagues serve as sacred organizations, not just recreational clubs

9. Winter King Holiday: Major goblin religious festival with costume competitions and wish-granting

10. The 7-Eleven Laboratory: Bru's creative use of unconventional spaces for his work started young

Session Mechanics & Conclusion

Adventure Structure

The session followed a fairly linear quest structure:

Act 1: Mission briefing from Taskmaster Grit, family dynamics established

Act 2: Oracle quest through festival, got the prophecy, traveled to 7-Eleven

Act 3: Bathroom workshop, firework construction, family conflict (Bru vs EA), Vanessa's death

Act 4: Down to the Nerve Hub beside the Heart of Tortuga, then up the waxed ear canal to the eardrum

Act 5: Grit's dynamite, the race to Bru's lab, Vanessa's wraiths, explosive finale, island rises

Comedy Highlights

Running Gags:

• Dru's cocaine addiction and separate stashes for every occasion
• Vanessa dying repeatedly from heart attacks
• "Vanessa sucks" (family consensus)
• Taskmaster Grit interrupting at inconvenient times
• Backwards chair sitting for being "down and chill"
• EA's impossible-to-pronounce Irish vowel name
• Goblin death toll from heart attacks

Physical Comedy:

• Dru swimming in cocaine piles
• Snowball fights with cocaine-mud-rocks
• Children getting cocaine in their eyes
• Dru doing jumping jacks until ghost died
• Backwards everything (chairs, hats, shirts, pants)

Dark Comedy:

• Casual attitude toward Vanessa's deaths
• "Did I finish my firework? Oh wait, she's dead"
• Blaming Bru for bathroom-related death
• Skipping Vanessa's memorial because it's "a lot of work"
• Dru's inevitable cocaine crash

Meta Moments

Self-Aware Humor:

• Firework design includes "fireworks" (meta reference)
• "We are the baddies" while designing a firework over Vanessa's corpse
• Discussion of AI recap vs actual events
• References to previous interlude (Elspeth's racing)
• Christopher claiming he lifted the adventure "word for word" from D&D Beyond

Player Creativity:

• 7-Eleven as the oracle's destination (Taylor improvised it as Belch's old workplace)
• Cocaine as Dru's character trait (improvised)
• All character names and relationships player-created
• Bru's Cousins bowling league concept
• Family dynamics and conspiracy theories

Emotional Weight

Despite the comedy, the session established genuine tragedy:

Bru's Loss:

• Forced to leave homeland
• Lost entire extended family
• Witnessed traumatic deaths
• Blamed for things beyond his control
• Only child survivor of the sacred disturbance

Family Love:

• Despite chaos, family worked together
• Uncle Belch protective of younger members
• EA improved Bru's work (harsh but caring)
• The family closed ranks against Taskmaster Grit, who kept popping up, threw the dynamite himself, and (the table decided) had been driving a wedge through the family
• Strong sense of goblin community and belonging

Setting Destruction:

• Entire goblin city displaced
• Lives lost in the chaos
• Community separated
• Home literally walked away
• Success had catastrophic personal cost

Connection to Main Campaign

The session explained several ongoing mysteries:

Recent Events:

• Tortuga rising connects to rift openings
• Dragon migrations happening simultaneously
• "All this is super recent" (within current campaign timeline)
• Explains why Bru left his homeland

Bru's Character:

• Origin of explosives expertise
• Source of conspiracy theory thinking (Uncle Belch)
• Why he's alone without family
• His relationship with chaos and destruction
• Technical skills and attention to detail

Future Possibilities:

• Family reunion potential
• Return to Tortuga
• Confronting past trauma
• Vanessa's wraith haunting
• God ear wax mystery

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Future Sessions

Several character backstories remain: Ohma's origin, Leliana's past, and Olivia's first case possibly involving Caspian and previous campaign characters (Christopher also has an Olivia session ready about undead reported at a nursing home in the hills). The Tortuga island could become a visitable location for family reunion adventures.

DM's Note

Christopher joked that he had lifted this adventure "word for word" from D&D Beyond—7-Eleven, cocaine and all—though Taylor pointed out the 7-Eleven was improvised on the spot as Belch's old workplace. The players' improvisation (cocaine, 7-Eleven, character dynamics) added significant original content. The session successfully established Bru's tragic backstory while maintaining the campaign's comedic tone.