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Session by the numbers~3h 45m · 34,729 words · 2 nat-20 mentions
At the tableSilasOhmaHelisannaBruElspethOlivia
Talk share
Topher
31%
Silas
18%
Ohma
13%
Helisanna
11%
Bru
10%
Elspeth
9%
Olivia
8%
Talked aboutChalk Rock ×7Victor ×5Astro ×3
Superlatives
MVP: Olivia — “I need you all to stay within ten feet of me”
Best joke: Silas — “I did once single-handedly win a comic book trivia contest at Adventure Science Center by myself. I did say single-handedly, so I was a little redundant”
Most chaotic: Helisanna — “I'm going say during the long rest I dream of various ways of murdering crying one.”

33: The Pizza Wars Begin

🎧 Podcast Link • September 12, 2025

Opening Discussions​

The session began with the group catching up on personal matters and discussing various topics ranging from Luke's upcoming week off from work to pursue game development, to vehicle preferences (Ford F-150 product placement continues), to Nashville traffic complaints and pizza preferences. The conversation revealed character insights about gaming, work-life balance, and regional pizza styles.

Investigation at Rattie's Pie Land​

Meeting Detective Chalk Rock​

The party encountered recently hired detective Chalk Rock, a 16-year-old dwarf with an unhealthy obsession with retired detective Olivia Cooper. Chalk Rock had been investigating the disappearance of April Bonal, leading the party to Rattie's Pie Land, a pizza establishment the tortle Bernardo had been running for the past six months while its owner was away.

The Pizza Place Investigation​

At Rattie's Pie Land, the party discovered:

  • The establishment had been closed for about a week
  • Dust had settled on surfaces, but some had been recently disturbed
  • Footprints led to a sewer grate in the kitchen
  • The freezer contained unusual ingredients including frozen lettuce, blueberries, and apples
  • Helisanna discovered what she believed to be "cheese" (actually parmesan) and consumed some

The Great Pizza Debate​

The party engaged in extensive discussions about pizza quality and regional preferences:

  • Rattie's Pie Land served thin crust pizza with no cheese and excessive tomato sauce
  • This sparked debates about proper pizza preparation and toppings
  • Ohma experienced his first taste of proper pizza later in the session
  • Plans were made to establish their own pizza establishment in their pocket dimension

Sewer Exploration and Discoveries​

Following the Trail​

The party descended into the sewers following the footprints, where they discovered an underground encampment with:

  • April Bonal - the missing person they were searching for
  • Bernardo - Ohma's fellow monk from their order, running the pizza place above
  • Casey Bones - another member of their group

Reunion and Information Exchange​

Ohma was reunited with Bernardo, learning that:

  • Bernardo had been following leads about the fallen moon goddess
  • The owner of Rattie's Pie Land had left him to run the place, and no one knows where the owner has gone
  • Down in the sewers he had learned to make a thicker-crust style of pizza with real cheese
  • April had recently escaped from laboratory experiments

Intelligence Gathering​

April provided crucial information about the ravers (drug-affected individuals):

  • They are controlled by someone called Crang One
  • Crang runs things from a nightclub down in the Underlake
  • The ravers are being manipulated and controlled rather than acting of their own free will

Planning and Preparation​

The Concert Strategy​

The party refined their plan to use Helisanna's musical influence to counter Crang One's control over the ravers:

  • Stage construction was already underway by influenced ravers
  • They planned to coordinate a rock-off challenge with Crang One
  • The goal was to defeat Crang in musical combat and then eliminate him

Character Development​

Ohma's first experience with proper pizza became a transcendent moment, awakening a deep appreciation for the combination of bread, cheese, and sauce. This led to extensive discussion about pizza preferences and the establishment of pizza-related goals for the party's pocket dimension.

The Approach to Combat​

Journey to the Nightclub​

After a long rest at the encampment, the party followed April and Bernardo (with Casey Bones behind) through the sewer system toward the underground nightclub where Crang One was performing. The session built tension as they prepared for a confrontation that would determine control over the city's raver population.

The Battle Begins​

The nightclub sat at the bottom of the Underlake, where the old farms used to be. Initiative was rolled against:

  • Crang One - described as a giant baby-like creature in a leather vest that drapes to the floor, playing arcane music panels
  • Multiple groups of charmed ravers (12 per group)
  • Psychic attacks from Crang's musical equipment

The fight got about halfway before the session ended:

  • Olivia's aura shielded the party from the music's first psychic wave, and she rode into battle on Bob
  • Helisanna played her own riff instead of Crang's melody, freezing three ravers in place
  • Ohma failed his saves, fell under the music's spell and started dancing, then was compelled to swing at Olivia
  • Elspeth shot one of the panels, exposing organic, psionic workings inside, and Helisanna finished it off with Eldritch Blasts; with a monstrous yell, Crang teleported down into the fight
  • Crang's lasers dropped Helisanna with 58 damage, and Elspeth brought her back with Cure Wounds
  • Bru hit the ravers with Faerie Fire and Crang with Hex and Scorching Ray, while Silas threw psychic daggers and Olivia landed smites
  • The session paused mid-battle, with Crang still standing

Key Character Moments​

  • Helisanna continued her drug usage, consuming what she thought was cocaine but was actually parmesan cheese
  • Ohma experienced a profound awakening to the joys of pizza, establishing a new character motivation
  • Detective Chalk Rock proved both helpful and deeply concerning with his obsessive behavior toward Olivia
  • Olivia's aura protected the party from Crang's psychic attacks, while Elspeth kept Helisanna on her feet
  • Silas established psychic communication links between party members

Session Themes​

The session masterfully balanced comedy with plot advancement, featuring:

  • Extended discussions about food preferences and regional cuisine
  • Character relationship development through shared experiences
  • Investigation and mystery-solving elements
  • Setup for a major confrontation with meaningful stakes
  • Commentary on addiction, mind control, and free will through the raver storyline

The episode title "The Pizza Wars Begin" aptly captures both the extensive pizza-related discussions and the brewing conflict over territorial control, with food serving as both comic relief and a bonding experience for the characters.